Today we have the pleasure of hosting Ben Furman, the author of the Sam's Quest series for our very first guest blog. His blog totally made me laugh and hopefully it will make you laugh, too..
But, I mean, I really didn't think we were that scary. So, we're a bit rabid but it's not THAT scary, right, guys? RIGHT? ;)
"OMGYG2BK! You want me to do a guest article for Rabbit Reader? That’s dangerous territory, buddy. Those little darlings can go instant rabid rabbit and thump me to death if they don’t like what I say.”
My Internet blog tour leader was unfazed. “Listen big boy. Just take a valium with a slug of vodka and start writing. Need it soon.”
Retired spinster teacher! She didn’t have kids and didn’t understand my reluctance to enter Rabbit Land. I had weathered the ying and yang of my daughters’ tween and teenworlds, so I knew whereof I spoke! “Let me take a look at the site and I’ll get back to you,” I said with feigned enthusiasm. A double root canal seemed preferable.
My hope was to find previous guest postings on the site to get an idea of the general brush strokes of the previous writers, and perhaps steal bits-and-pieces if I became desperate. None, nadda, zippo! I’d be the first sacrificial lamb! Then a glimmer of an idea. I could use one of those nom deplume things. That way I couldn’t be found if things went wacky. Stupid! They’d already know who I am and how to find me. Maybe witness protection?
Okay, okay, what to write about? I could have Sam tell about how it feels to be the Seeker described in the Awokian legend or, how it feels to control the awesome power of the Crimson Crystal. How about when she goes on dangerous missions with the cute Prince Buznor? Throw in the close-cropped blond hair, piercing blue eyes, perfect teeth, short tunic and shiny armor thing. Nah, too gushy. The readers wouldn’t like all that girl-guy stuff.
I don’t know. Maybe it would be neat to know how Sam feels when she keeps her identity as the savior of the Originators from her friends in New York. New York? That’s not good. Nothing to do there but go to the newest plays on Broadway, especially the musicals, dine in the world’s finest restaurants, eat hot dogs at Yankee Stadium, and shop ‘til you drop. No interest I’m sure.
There has to be something. Sam could tell how she bested the scary Zog leader Drogon when all seemed lost. Then again, maybe something about how she was able to escape death from the black caped assassins. Way too intense!
How about deep? Sam could delve into her inner feelings, fears and uncertainties. No good. School’s just started and the readers have already experienced all the fear and trepidation they can stand.
Whew! I’ve been at this a while. I’m a little sleepy. Close my eyes while I think of something…..
"OMGYG2BK! You want me to do a guest article for Rabbit Reader? That’s dangerous territory, buddy. Those little darlings can go instant rabid rabbit and thump me to death if they don’t like what I say.”
My Internet blog tour leader was unfazed. “Listen big boy. Just take a valium with a slug of vodka and start writing. Need it soon.”
Retired spinster teacher! She didn’t have kids and didn’t understand my reluctance to enter Rabbit Land. I had weathered the ying and yang of my daughters’ tween and teenworlds, so I knew whereof I spoke! “Let me take a look at the site and I’ll get back to you,” I said with feigned enthusiasm. A double root canal seemed preferable.
My hope was to find previous guest postings on the site to get an idea of the general brush strokes of the previous writers, and perhaps steal bits-and-pieces if I became desperate. None, nadda, zippo! I’d be the first sacrificial lamb! Then a glimmer of an idea. I could use one of those nom deplume things. That way I couldn’t be found if things went wacky. Stupid! They’d already know who I am and how to find me. Maybe witness protection?
Okay, okay, what to write about? I could have Sam tell about how it feels to be the Seeker described in the Awokian legend or, how it feels to control the awesome power of the Crimson Crystal. How about when she goes on dangerous missions with the cute Prince Buznor? Throw in the close-cropped blond hair, piercing blue eyes, perfect teeth, short tunic and shiny armor thing. Nah, too gushy. The readers wouldn’t like all that girl-guy stuff.
I don’t know. Maybe it would be neat to know how Sam feels when she keeps her identity as the savior of the Originators from her friends in New York. New York? That’s not good. Nothing to do there but go to the newest plays on Broadway, especially the musicals, dine in the world’s finest restaurants, eat hot dogs at Yankee Stadium, and shop ‘til you drop. No interest I’m sure.
There has to be something. Sam could tell how she bested the scary Zog leader Drogon when all seemed lost. Then again, maybe something about how she was able to escape death from the black caped assassins. Way too intense!
How about deep? Sam could delve into her inner feelings, fears and uncertainties. No good. School’s just started and the readers have already experienced all the fear and trepidation they can stand.
Whew! I’ve been at this a while. I’m a little sleepy. Close my eyes while I think of something…..
1 comment:
THX RR2! ...gag,choke...Sorry, a piece of carrot went down the wrong way. Doing the guest blog was fun!
Ben Furman
www.blackhawkpress.com/blog
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